Monthly Archives: April 2011

Syndrome: I am fraud.

Fear of opinions has the power to make us re-think, what we think. But it’s not other people who usually stop us from putting forward new ideas, or forward thinking. Rather it’s ourselves, road blocking ourselves, from ourselves. It’s usually only us questioning ourselves why other people trust out opinions.

When I finish writing I always think, “I could have done that better.” Rarely do I stop and think, hey, I just created this. It didn’t exist before I thought of it, put pen to paper (or fingers to keyboard) and made it real. Insecurities, it’s how we better ourselves, grow and end up hunkered down with a bottle of red clutching a blank page. But isn’t it funny how we only ever seem to be critically insecure about the things we’re surprisingly best at.

This is so true for every aspect of our lives. We do some things so well we forget we’re actually envied for those skills. Have you ever noticed people become more confident when they talk about their specialties? But when asked to show their work they clench up, make excuses or avert the conversation. How can we know what we know so well, but be afraid of sharing what we’ve contributed to the field. Is it because if we’re wrong we feel foolish?

Take an artist or financier. They each have such a deep understanding for what they do it’s easy for them to forget what’s common knowledge to them, isn’t for everyone else. Knowledge can sometimes feel like a different language, personal jargon. Is this why we doubt ourselves? Because we have such an in-depth understanding we doubt our derived conclusions and answers? Or is it just human nature to criticise and dissect our thoughts?

Perhaps it’s a good thing we doubt ourselves. We wouldn’t strive for more if it weren’t for t self-doubt, and no one really creates without failing a few times. Imagine if a skydiving instructor were so confident in his ability to harness another human being they didn’t double or triple check the safety gear? Isn’t there a saying about over confidence killing? Or is it just that overconfidence kills the drive for success? Or if not success, a better solution or creation, or just something better, more. It’s a little inspirational to know my self-doubt is actually driving me to be something better.

But at the end of the day not enough confidence is evidently a bad thing as it leads to self doubt. But on the other hand, over confidence makes us sloppy, underachieving even. Insecurities force us to think again, double check and search for something more, it effectively forces us to be better. But we need to be mindful not to doubt ourselves too much. We should share, show and explain because we’re not frauds. What we think is important, it just sometimes needs a little something extra to be brilliant.


What’s so inspirational about a poster?

You know the posters I’m talking about, Quit your job, Buy a ticket, Fall in love, Never come back. They’re so sinfully attainable I always end up in a mental debate with myself. ‘This is your life, do what you love.’ Am I already doing what I love? I love writing, but what if I loved something more and didn’t know it? It’s my life, shouldn’t I know? Or do I know, but I question myself because I like what others don’t?

I enjoy running. I don’t know why I do. “I’m toning up to make some extra cash on a stripper pole.” Not really, but I feel like I need an excuse to explain why I enjoy what I like. I run because it makes me feel good. Can we put into words how ‘good’ feels, and if yes could those words make others want to feel just as good?

I don’t feel good every minute, of every day, so does that mean I’m not living? But then would I appreciate life’s highs if I was high on life all the time? If you spend every minute, of every day of your life travelling, surely then seeing the world would lose its ‘specialness’. If I ate chocolate for breakfast, lunch and dinner would it still taste as good? Well of course, it’s chocolate. If I loved every minute, of every day, would I still know what love was? Would it still be special?

So here’s a quick conclusion to my somewhat convoluted hypothesis, the basic premise of the saying, ‘life is short so do what makes you happy’ is to do what you love, but don’t do it all the time otherwise you won’t love it anymore.


Welcome.

Hello.

As this is my first post I thought I’d tell you a joke.

But then I decided against it.

I like cake.


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